This post is inspired by one of my favourite bloggers Chanel Boateng . When i watch her videos i feel there is a part of me in her although she's way older than me but i can still relate . I remember few weeks ago on her youtube channel when she talked about "FAT GIRL PROBLEMS" Although the video was funny , there was a sense of seriousness . She talked about how every fat girl's fear in a public place is to not break a chair and how in train stations it's hard to pass through the thing where u put yur oyster and all that. I could relate to every single thing she said . Recently i have been on a journey of finding myself and truly finding hapiness within myself. My parents have been on my weight and costantly bug me and tell me how i need to loose weight and all that. Today i watched another video by Chanel Boateng titled " How to love your weight" Immediately i saw that , the first question that popped into my head was "Is that even possible?" I thought like that because from the very beginning i have been stigmatised , bullied , insulted , abused ... Everything .. and it has constantly been fed down my throat that i can not be possibly happy with my weight the way i am . I was told that by my own father a few days ago . I have been overweight since i could remember . I can not remember being slim . I have always been fat and in school, growing up , it was really hard for me being insulted , teased by my classmates and all that . It got to a point where i did not want to look at the mirror . I wanted to take my life ad die and to be honest it is still happening although i am a bit better at handling the situation but i still have not gotten there. In Chanel's video she talked about how in the society , it is like a curse to be fat . It is frowned against and what no one gets is that food adiction is the same or even worse than cocaine and weed and other harmful drugs and for someone to make up their mind to loose weight , it has to come from within and i truly believe her . I agree . Right now in my life , i feel i am being pressured to loose weight by my parents by the society telling me i am not good enough . I am not beautiful enough because i am big and because i am fat . I am told i will not be found attractive my men because i am fat . When a guy says he's dating a big woman , it has to be a secret or something that is hidden . Chanel talked about how to love your weight . She said you need to be happy with whatever body you are in and love yourself because if your body is ready to loose weight and your mind is not , it will not work and that is exactly what is happening to me . I have been on so many diets . I hasve lost weight , added weight many times .If you have seen my detox post , that has been one of my attempts but it has not worked . I want to loose weight because iw ant my parents to be happy with me . I want to loose weight so that i would fit in with my friends . I want to loose weight so i can be accepted in the society . I want to loose weight so i can be normal! All wrong reasons . I want to love myself . I am learnin to love myself the way i am and to be honest if anyone does not love me or like me like this , then am sorry that is your loss!
Have a nice day !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_iihVduvsw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My8jVUxvd7s
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